sorting it out between you 
when you're ready, go
and would you be willing to...?
It can be very difficult to be as willing to hear their requests as to make your own. It helps to be clear whether some of your requests are, in fact, demands.
Three examples of requests are:
- "Would you be willing to tell me how you feel about my statement?"
- "Would you be willing to help me satisfy my need for .... by doing ...?"
A request for action is more likely to be heard if there has been attention on the connection between both of you. If someone lets you know what they heard, you might say ‘thank you’, before either:
- letting them know of any difference between what they heard and what you were hoping they would hear
- clarifying what each of you are observing, feeling, needing & requesting.
My need is for... and what I would like to request (to help me meet my need) is... I would like to request this from ... ?
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